Backstage Betty & the Guest Zombies

There are many reasons why I love doing theater, but one of my favorite aspects of it is the camaraderie of the backstage/ dressing rooms. That’s where you really get to know people, where you hear the latest gossip and the dirty jokes and the “oh my god, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” stories and local news and upcoming events and what’s everyone doing tonight after the show. The dressing room before a show is essentially a show within a show. There’s laughter, tears, joy, horror, attraction, dislike, anger… and I like to think, most of all, there’s love.



Some people sitting in the weirdly lit, funny smelling little room with you have a very challenging journey in front of them, an emotionally draining journey; some people have to sing and dance and make people laugh; some people have to make the audience believe an unbelievable thing – and everyone gets where they need to go a different way. Your nerves may be shot and you’re shaking, yet you are comforting someone; you may have to summon tears and hysteria in 30 minutes, yet you are telling the most raunchy ass joke ever heard or trying to light the lead actor’s rancid fart with your cigarette lighter.


I’ve always been the den mother of the dressing room – the one who has spare hair spray, extra makeup brushes, q-tips, bobby pins, safety pins, scissors, change for the soda machine. The one who can help you fix a bit of your costume that’s not sitting right. The one with an extra cigarette for you when you’re a little nervous. The one that gets that last tricky button for you and knows where we are in the show and if you have enough time to pee. That’s been my favorite role to play for years. I really felt like Mamma Hen last year during TBPAC’s production of The Rocky Horror Show, since I was the oldest chorus member – I kept a dressing room-full of college kids in black lipstick, cigarettes, dick jokes, and glitter for over a month. Now I’m doing it again in Jobsite Theater’s Night of the Living Dead, as the Zombie Coordinator.


This show is going to be my biggest challenge ever as Backstage Betty. Every night, I will get 2 or 3 total n00bs, who’ve not seen the show and have no idea what to do; and I am responsible for getting them ready in Zombie makeup, finding them a costume from our Bag-o-Zombie, showing them where to go and what to do during the show. My biggest worry is what to do with them when we’re not onstage? Can I incorporate them into the tiny and weird microcosm that is the green room of a Jobsite show? Will they be offended by our jokes? Will they ruin someone else’s concentration? Will they be bored? Will they need something I can’t give them? Holy crap, I’m nervous. These people will be depending on me to show them a good time, to make sure they don’t look like idiots, and put them where they are supposed to be when they’re supposed to be there. My director is depending on me not to let some clusterfuck zombie traffic jam happen onstage during a crucial moment of a terrifying show. Will I be able to do it?

I think so. Anyway, come see Jobsite Theater’s Night of the Living Dead, playing now through Nov. 15. This is your thing to do this weekend (and the next, and the next, and the next), even if you’re broke – no excuses! By supporting live theater and local artists, you are supporting the economy – the money we make by doing shows, we turn around and spend on local produce, we tip our bartenders and waitstaff, we buy dog food and books and candy. So come out and see us.


Also, I am bartending all day tomorrow at the Hub (and then yes, going to perform shortly afterwards – hey, I need to stimulate my own economy, if you know what I am saying)… so if you have nothing to do tomorrow, stop by and see me and I’ll make you one of my very special Bloody Marys!!!